Dad backs out of promise to fund daughter's grad school, claiming he needs the money to finance lavish wedding with new girlfriend, despite insisting she rely on him for tuition: 'When I had agreed I didn’t have a wedding to plan'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Sep 1, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

Once upon a time, there was a hardworking, independent daughter, let's call her Cindy. Cindy put herself through university, despite being fortunate enough to have a wealthy father. When he insists on paying for her clinical doctrine for the next few years…she finally gives in, accepting him generous offer and pushing her need for independence to the side….

Then comes his new fiancé, let's call her Evil Stepmother. It just so happens that the moment they get engaged, the father confesses that he will no longer be contributing towards her tuition, due to the new wedding costs that have simultaneously arose. Cindy is absolutely blindsided, and left feeling helpless…This is the exact reason she doesn't rely on anyone, because the moment she does, her castle is made of nothing more than broken promises, and a stepmother who is constantly trying to tear at the foundation. 

Looks like Cindy may need to become her own fairy godmother…once again!

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  • We know this stepmother is trying to throw the ball of the season, but how could this father be allowing this to unravel at the expense of his daughter. Has she cast an evil spell on him that needs to be broken…or is he just the type of man that will turn on his family at the drop of a tiara…I'm afraid this story may not have the happy ending we were all hoping for.

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    Woman upset while man and woman embrace and talk behind her
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    AITA For Getting Upset My Dad Won’t Pay My Tuition

    I (22 f) have an incredibly privileged life where my father (55m) is well off and helped pay for my siblings educations, covering whatever loans, grants, scholarships, etc didn't. I got the same offer from him. However, I got a full
    via LowLettuce6564
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    ride for undergrad to a school when I was 17. I didn't love the school, but I wasn't going to waste my dad's money going to a different university when I had a free option. In
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    undergrad I worked two jobs to make sure I could cover expenses like rent, food, textbooks, etc. and never took a dime from my dad, not that I didn't appreciate his offer.
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    The field I'm going into requires a clinical doctorate (four years post undergrad), but obviously that's expensive so I was planning on taking a few years off just to work full time
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    and save up. When I mentioned this plan to my dad he said he would cover the cost since I never took money from him for undergrad. I was hesitant, but he pushed the issue and said that if I wanted to go now, he would
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    cover it. So I applied and got into multiple schools. I took the cheapest option which, even with loans and a graduate assistant position that covered some credit cost, was about $3,000 a semester, with there being
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    three semesters within a school year. I checked with my dad again to make sure this was okay but he just was so excited and insisted he would pay. I finished the first year no problem, and have signed up for fall classes.
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    My dad asked to meet with me recently while I'm on break for dinner. He told me he proposed to the woman he's been seeing. In full disclosure, me and this woman don't
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    entirely get along and she has never approved of him giving me money for school, which she has taken out on me whenever we're around each other. However, I know
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    she makes my father happy so of course I was thrilled for him and never expressed anything else at the dinner. We talked for a bit about plans for the wedding and then he off handedly mentioned that, because he would
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    able to pay for my next year or two of grad school. I was shocked, then upset, expressing that he had said he would pay. He explained when he had agreed he didn't have a wedding to plan and asked why I couldn't just cover my own cost. I said I was planning to
    via LowLettuce6564
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    Woman whispering in man's ear
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    pay for my own costs when this all started, and that I was going to save up, and it was his idea for me to go straight from undergrad to grad school. He then got upset and said I was making his engagement about me, and that I
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    was only acting like this cause I was mad he was "moving on" from my mom (my parents have been divorced for a decade and I don't think I've ever shown signs of being upset when he's dated other people including who
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    he is seeing currently). I tried to explain that of course I was thrilled for him, but that we had a deal and I changed a lot of my life plans around said agreement, and now he's trying to back track. AITA?
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    destro23 when he had agreed he didn't have a wedding to plan But, he agreed to a wedding knowing he had his kid's grad school to pay for. He gave his word, he should keep it. If he does not you have every right to be upset.
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    GFdesserts NTA. You're not upset he won't give you money, you're upset because you changed your plans and made a decision you otherwise would not have made but for the fact that you trusted him and relied upon his promise.
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    Exchanging money
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    thatOneBI1p Absolutely NTA. He's completely pulling the rug out from beneath you and essentially choosing his fiancée over you. He said he'd pay, he insisted despite you already having a plan for yourself, and is now withdrawing that promise with a nonchalance completely unfit for what he's doing to you. You're not making the engagement about you, you're making the money he offered and then blithely took away about you, as you should. What a s ty move.
    via thatOneBI1p
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    Rare-Humor-9192 NTA. Your dad made a commitment to you that he now wants to back out of. Unless there is an actual emergency, I have no respect for a man who would do this. And this is no emergency.
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    ProfessorDistinct835 NTA. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Maybe ask him if he can contribute some so you aren't left funding the full $9K. I suspect his soon-to-be-wife is whispering in his ear.
    via d
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    TheDreadPirateJenny When the wedding comes, politely decline. Tell him that when you were only scheudl8ng around classes, you'd have been able to attend, but since you've now had to rearrage your whole life because he didn't keep his word, you have other priorities.
    via TheDreadPirateJenny
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    TALKTOME0701 NTA Wow. I always wished I had parents who helped me through college, but the idea of someone making those promises and then blithely pulling the rug out from under is truly devastating.
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    HereWeGo_Steelers I'm willing to bet that your dad's new fiance is the reason he's no longer going to pay for your school. She didn't approve of him paying for you, and now she's telling him. that they need that money for her dream wedding. She's trying to drive a wedge between you and your father, and your dad is allowing it. ΝΤΑ
    via HereWeGo_Steelers

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consequences costs family drama promises new wife funding FAIL tuiton demanding unexpected give in wedding family broken promises independant money Father
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